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It’s been a really long time….

Hey guys, how are you? I know I haven’t been much on WordPress these days that’s why I thought of having a convo with y’all. How’s life doing you or how are you making your life? Both has a difference. Think of it. Everyone’s has been through that phase when we go through something which we never thought of, and something completely takes over you and your life. I have been through that phase. I have been with people who left me either leaving things unsaid or cheating on me and I know you are going or gone something like this too, but believe me, all the good things you have done to all the wrong people will come back to you, and to me it did. I am happy where ever I am. I have people to count on. I have some friends which I don’t really talk to but I call them friends and I know they are in the cool group stuff of the school and are surrounded with people but deep inside lonely af. Today, wherever I am, with whomsoever, I am grateful, I genuinely thank them for existing. There was a time when life had all of me and I had nothing of my life, my life was just like go with the flow, I had no control over my thoughts, I have been through 3 anxiety attacks in a month and my parents considered it to be over eating (not a joke, honestly.) I am just 16 and I know I shouldn’t say that I have been through a lot but I have, and I don’t tell this to the world for consolation or smypathy because I knew I’ll be fine on my own, I’ll be the one to pick myself up through everything. And that’s how it goes. You’ll be happy. You’ll be fine. Just be grateful for what you have.

Love love.

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Dear me,

I’m gonna be very straightforward with this, you need to stop being a douchebag every time for no reason. You need to stop your brain from thinking a hell lot of things and getting upset for no reason.

‘My head is a mess, and heart is wreck’ is probably something which does not work here anymore. Its 21st century, you need to pick your things up and grow a little.

You have always been with people although you knew they would never show up when you need them to stop.

Stop giving advice to all disappointed people about their lives when you yourself do not use them at all.

You have always been a good audience and I genuinely appreciate that but you need to help yourself first.

Out of rage, you’ve done something irreversible to yourself but try to be a better person by helping and healing your inner self.

People hurt you because you let them. You don’t let go people easily but there’s no point holding onto them. I’m not feeling pity for you but maybe its the consolation, not sympathy you are begging for. Here’s a thing for you:

  1. You are the best version of your existing.
  2. Stop denying, start accepting.
  3. Stop everything and start speaking.
  4. Talk to strangers.
  5. Stop putting yourself into hypothetical situations which might never happen.
  6. Don’t think of losing people before losing them.
  7. You are beautiful so stop

I don’t know why and how you get this thought to dying? You have dreams and plans live out. Think of that house you want to end up living or maybe food around the world which you want to explore, maybe that would give you some sort of hope to live at least? You have an entire bucket list to cross off.

You have always loved people unconditionally bit you need to know your worth kid. Its 21st century and this is the hookup culture and you are stuck here. You need to be patient while you wait for the right one and please, don’t let everybody in.

Look, I have always given you the best advice and you have always chosen to be the selfless one but believe me, you gotta be selfish sometimes. I hope you understand. I wish the best for you. You’re strong and I know, you’ll listen to me, soon, for sure.

Yours,

The voices you often ignored.

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For how long?

For how long will we be in the fear of the people made us think that showing skin attracts attention?

For how long will we be in the fear of not stepping out of the house after 10?

For how long will we dream of a super hero who’ll soon take us to a place safer?

Here, I ask you, women women all around, who’s the safest of y’all? None, because even a woman with bodyguards was harassed.

For how long will we sit and think about how the world disappointed us in a million ways?

For how long are we going to think that one day saree, burkha, salwar and skirt will all be treated the same?

“A thousand ways how you can judge a woman.” Book by a brain smaller than your mini skirt. Isn’t it?

Women women all around, who’s the loudest of y’all? None because when she screamed, she was killed and other who arouse too.

“I have scars on my back and a story to narrate, with nothing to loose but a day to regret with crushed feather and broken crown, here I’m to tell you my story, you hardly know but you have an idea, it was about that night which wasn’t a night but a day, where I was brutally raped, killed and thrown in to the heaps of no where for being in short. My imagination was not limited but for sure, it never had this. After all I was just 6.”
-Zainab.

For how long will we be consider to be different from men? I hope this world gets better, one day, soon and you find everything you want to live happily with no fear and not in the dreams of a moron hero who’s never gonna come. Speak out. I hope women will help women to make it better.

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Dear unloved.

Dear unloved,

 I know what you’re going through. I know you overthink and you think you are the most depressed human on the earth.
.
I know, you are a debris, fragile and bleeding. And let me tell you, you aren’t lost, you are a beautiful soul who’s yet to be found.
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 I know, you hate when I say you deserve happiness but somewhere you know you deserve better, you don’t deserve what you got.
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 I know, how vicious you are being to yourself these days, I saw the scars on your wrist. I noticed, how perfectly you fake a smile and click pictures.
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 I know, there’s a time, in the middle of the night where you feel that everything is crashing down on your head. I know, you were selfish, the voices inside haunt you, means of pleasure is self-harm for you.
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 I know, you crave to visit all of your favorite places but you feel you don’t have a companion to go. But you do have a companion, and that’s you.
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 I know but you don’t, you deserve better, far better than what you are going through. There are times when I just pray that you understand what happened to you and stop blaming yourself.
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 I know but you don’t, you are beautiful but through scars, you carve on your body aren’t. You don’t know you’ll be carrying those scars forever on your body and they’ll remind you of those bad memories.
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 I know but you don’t, you aren’t the saddest human on the earth, there’s more pain in the world.
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 I know but you don’t, you’re not going to stay like this forever, your Shadow days will be over soon. And moving on isn’t tough. You’ll. You’ll be able to give love, to someone who deserves.
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 I know but you don’t, your happiness is totally dependent on your-so-called love. You forgot what self-love is. At the end, it’s you who’s going to stay with yourself. Love yourself, please.
Yours,
The one who’s watching you shatter.

 -Prisha.
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An important notice for y’ll.

I don’t know who you are or maybe I do but if you are scrolling down through it, let me tell you that you are beautiful soul and yes, I know you haven’t done changing but that’s fine. You are not just existing but somewhere somehow making someone smile. I know, you have a lot of shit in your life but believe me it’s just not you, there are people who are going through a hell lot of shit than what you are going through and you can make it, yes you can. There’s nothing here you can’t do. You aren’t worthless or the saddest human on the earth. Your Shadow days will be over soon, I promise. You existence is important to someone you don’t give a damn about. But that’s human behaviour and it’s okay. Everything happens for a reason and one day you’ll look back and think that it’s good that it’s over. Have a nice day. (I know I’m posting it at the end of the day)

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You come, you go.

You come,
You go.
You need,
You don’t.
You care,
Then it’s rare.
You love,
You make it disappear.
You want,
You call it attraction.
It was forever,
And then for a fraction.
You come to me with love,
And then transforms to hate.
You beg for an apology,
Then you repeat the mistake.
This goes a hundred time,
Until we decide, we aren’t fine.
So you find someone else,
To redo this story.

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Purposely.

I loved,
I cried,
I begged,
I broke,
Things you deceived.
I smelled,
It was lust,
And love no more.
You left,
I begged and deplored.
I recalled,
What was us,
And trusted it will be happily ended.
But discovered
Motives to send,
The energy of intimacy,
In ways, which were nasty
For being together,
Purposely.