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ONE DAY..

#pride #lgbtq

One day, you’re gonna wake up and your parents will tell you that LGBTQ is wrong, it’s like a disease or a disorder, it is going to come after you so stay away from such people. Its weird how we cant let ourselves out and accept the fact it’s okay. It’s okay to have norms which are your own, not based on what the society thinks.

Honestly speaking im trapped in such a situation.

being dynamic in such an environment is important but how do explain the importance of it? Our generation is possibly the most dynamic one of all and i dont understand why are these ideas hard to accept.

In india, govt recently legalized gay sex but to certain people it is just “the govt pressuring them to accept such thing.” I as a minor, an individual i have certain ideologies, norms i believe in, that no matter what i firmly hold. i believe god is one, soulmates, reincarnations, LGBTQ and i feel bad how bad they feel about being neglected from the society, excluded and even called “it.” the chances for them to fall in mental disorders, because of us, is more than a normal “accepted human being.”

In usa, around 1980, thousands of people died of hiv and aids, the govt decided to ignore it for a really really long time and then blamed the lgbtq community that they were the reason.

isnt that shitty? do you feel miserable too?

you don’t have to be a part of it to support it.

you just need to correct the person who says anything that has been said to me by my parents.

every being is lovely and deserves to be loved, rich poor, lesbian gay, short tall, fat skinny.

you matter, your opinions matter.

i hope we, make the world a better place for you and me, for the lgbtq and for everyone else.

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I’m living for the pain.

little did i know,
my wander lust collapsed
wandering the scars.
my body carved a little
for my soul.
my mind loved the pain over cigarettes.
my annihilation turned me into a passionate sucker for pain.
i yearn for myself yet my mind wins.
sometimes i am stuck in a war,
voices inside scream till i make myself numb enough to think.
people left three, two, one….zero.
it is cigarettes for you. it’s self-harm for me.
pain makes me alive yet I regret i am but at the same moment i can’t think of killing myself, if for I do my soul would wander for satisfaction for the pain i am living for.
yes, the pain I’m living for.

-Prisha Pugla.

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vodka and you.

one shot of vodka

and i am happy
for my existence,
for his and the
ecosystem
we have created
submerged with
laughter and
enchantment.
two shots of vodka
and i am down for
him, confess all that
i have in my belly,
to rain the butterflies
but i stop,
something resists,
something doesn’t feel right.

four shots of vodka
and the world is moving
around. I picture him and
me, like all of those cliche
scenes, my head is in the air
my hair moving around,
dancing to the beats in our heads.

six vodka shots and down.

we finally decide to move out
go what everyone does,
what we see in movies
but everything doesn’t turn
out how we expected.
but it’s magical how our
ecosystem have auras,
as we lie on the bed
i remember, i declared
how our auras make me
a better sapien. how his
smirking emojis make me
smile like an idiot. how he
laughs on my lame jokes to
keep my heart.

i remember
him stroking my hair,
and blabbering something,
too.
next morning, we have
breakfast in bed, i knew then.

six shots of vodka
and i don’t regret any.

-Prisha Pugla.

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kaleidoscope.

you think,
someone’s going to fall in love with you,
and align the stars on your feet.
you’re soon going to have the perfect life
you think,
you don’t need to struggle, you’re going to get everything
but i think
that’s not true
but yes,
i wish i could see the world through your kaleidoscope
how your dreams are aligned in faith and belief while I have lost it all.
how your smile reflect your happiness while I have forgotten to smile.
how your skin showcase positivity while my negativity is owerpowering it.
how your eyes shine bright enough to light up my day.
how you and your soul have conversations while I can’t identify the voice of my heart and mind.
how your voices enjoy your company while it’s all rotten and dark here.
how you can see the half filled glass while i notice half empty.
i really wish i could see the world through your kaleidoscope.

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coffee, colours and you.

coffee, colours and you.
for some reason we’re here.
for some reason you’re in grey.
grey, symbolises something between the darkest and the brightest.
how perfectly the feelings of ‘i miss you’ fits in grey.
i like grey
and you.
the smell of coffee spreads over
and lingers me
and my thoughts
to think about the
undefinable feelings, scents and colours.
how funny a writer is,
how different his world looks.
I see your lips move
but can’t hear a thing
and the way you smile in between
takes my heart away.
this isn’t a moment
it’s a feeling
a feeling about my insanity
my words and the dictionary
trying to define your purity
at its best
but fails to reach
to where you stand.

xxxxxx

this is an incomplete piece i wrote for someone really close to me and i realised some things are better incomplete, they are beautiful without an end.

-Prisha Pugla.

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Can you love me any better?

I love you
and our love, stays here
in my cabin
where I hung you up
to honour you
to admire
the redness of your blood,
the paleness of your lips,
the whiteness of your eyes.

everyday,
drop by drop, you blood falls
and I make sure,
i honour every drop
to keep it safe
and close.
i love to lift your lips up
to see you smile
and perfectly symmetrical teeth
while you can’t.
i glorify the rottening
of your body,
and taste of blood.
i make your hair
in braids and crowns
you’ll never be able to see
and you would feel
grip on your skin,
so red, so greasy
i hope you could vibe in.
yes, I love you.
can you feel it?
can you love me any better?
can you?

-Prisha Pugla.

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It’s been a really long time….

Hey guys, how are you? I know I haven’t been much on WordPress these days that’s why I thought of having a convo with y’all. How’s life doing you or how are you making your life? Both has a difference. Think of it. Everyone’s has been through that phase when we go through something which we never thought of, and something completely takes over you and your life. I have been through that phase. I have been with people who left me either leaving things unsaid or cheating on me and I know you are going or gone something like this too, but believe me, all the good things you have done to all the wrong people will come back to you, and to me it did. I am happy where ever I am. I have people to count on. I have some friends which I don’t really talk to but I call them friends and I know they are in the cool group stuff of the school and are surrounded with people but deep inside lonely af. Today, wherever I am, with whomsoever, I am grateful, I genuinely thank them for existing. There was a time when life had all of me and I had nothing of my life, my life was just like go with the flow, I had no control over my thoughts, I have been through 3 anxiety attacks in a month and my parents considered it to be over eating (not a joke, honestly.) I am just 16 and I know I shouldn’t say that I have been through a lot but I have, and I don’t tell this to the world for consolation or smypathy because I knew I’ll be fine on my own, I’ll be the one to pick myself up through everything. And that’s how it goes. You’ll be happy. You’ll be fine. Just be grateful for what you have.

Love love.